What can I say, I have an extended hiatus from Blogville as my life has been pretty good and then pretty bloody shit!
Knowing how painful it is to revisit that shit I have not written for some time as I know from having previous Blog writing now for a good 14 years that your old memories can be cathartic but also extremely painful at the same time.
I think it was a cowardly move on my part as I refused to see the truth or even to write it, knowing how stupid I would feel going back over old ground, I really didn't want to put that out there for the world to see or sadly even myself. Maybe in hind sight recording all the shit would've helped me get to this point a little quicker and with a damn sight less heartache and damage along the way..who knows, that part cannot be changed, all I can do now is look forward and try not to make the same mistakes again! The same mistakes with the same man, again!
FFS woman listen to your own inner radar and smarten the fuck up before this life swallows you completely!
I feel totally broken right now. Just about hanging on to whatever semblance of dignity and pride I have left...there's not much of it and it is very precious so I am doing my utmost to do this right. pace myself and get ahead of the game once more.
I will get my fuckin shit together!
Eat, Sleep, Repeat!!!
Studpidly yours Sugar x
